05/04/19

Carter is three and a half weeks old, and I've mostly been laying low since his birth. The reason for that is because I've been struggling with postpartum depression, and I didn't realize it for the first two weeks. I have started counseling, and I want to talk about it openly because nobody talks about this side of becoming a new mom. I felt like I was a terrible person for not feeling "sunshine and rainbows" every waking second (which truly is almost every second 24/7 these days). Those first two weeks my doctor told me "almost every new mom experiences the baby blues and cries non stop for one or two weeks" and "it's totally normal because of hormones". My experience turned out to be a little more than just the baby blues, but regardless of that, nobody told me anything about the "baby blues". Cam jokes that we spent 45 minutes in a childbirth class learning about how to change a diaper, and another 30 minutes learning about swaddling, but the whole section about postpartum depression was skimmed over with a 10 second comment to watch out for mood swings after delivery.

I'm participating in a walk in June to raise awareness for postpartum mood disorders. If you would like to donate to the cause, please feel free, but my reason for participating is to continue to heal and walk with other women who are not alone in not feeling themselves after childbirth. I'm starting to get better and I'm having good days mixed with the bad, but so many women don't reach out for help because they're ashamed of how they feel, because nobody talks about it.

The statistic is 1 in 5 women deal with some sort of postpartum mood disorder. Since opening up about my own struggle to just a handful of people, I've already had three other women tell me they went through the same thing. Only after I began to experience it myself, and only after saying it out loud to others. We need to not be ashamed of any part of becoming a new mom, and we absolutely need to talk about the non "sunshine and rainbows" side of it more.

Postpartum Support International's Climb Out of the Darkness is the world's largest event for raising awareness of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, while raising money and building community.

You are not alone. You are not to blame. With help, you will be well.
If you or someone you know is suffering, PSI can help: Call 1.800.994.4773 or Text 503.894.9453